Congratulations! I learned that I'm autistic last year and it was one of the most revelatory events of my life. I looked back and recontextualized so much of how I've acted, how I've reacted, how people have responded to me, how I work best, and more. My new self-knowledge is such a relief and I hope it's the same for you. It informs how I make choices and how I give myself the best chance of success in a world that still isn't set up to accommodate neurodiverse people. Warm thoughts to you!
just wanted to thank you for doing this. it’s a service. autism runs in my family and i’ve also been in relationships with spectrum folks. there is so much i wish i’d known, the conversations were never had, and the diagnoses never discovered in some cases. everything seems so clear in hindsight that it’s heartbreaking. open-heart things like this will help a lot of people. thank you. ♥️♥️
No real question here. Just want to assure you that all people who love you as a person and your writings will still do - any diagnosis doesn't change who you are, right? Don't care about the rest of the people.
But of course it changed your own view onto yourself. Maybe a bit like when you love a painting for decades and think you know it by heart - and then somebody points at some detail here and some colors there and everything makes even more sense. It is the same picture, though - the painting you love. But your perception changed. Sometimes this may happen with a piece of music, or some book - or afilm. Or a person. Or yourself. Still the same.
Really appreciate you sharing this. I'm starting to be pretty certain of ADHD for myself, and have some testing scheduled soon. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD last year and also suspects he might be autistic as well. What you've said in the other comments about having a frame for understanding yourself (paraphrasing) and feeling empowered to share it really resonates. Thank you
I live in the Bay Area and work in high tech so this post puts me in mind of Temple Grandin's observation about my industry in my neighborhood https://www.mercurynews.com/2014/01/21/temple-grandin-half-of-silicon-valleys-got-mild-autism I suspect if we got better at diagnosing autism, it would be recognized as so much more common than people think, and therefore have so much less stigma and shame. I'm pretty sure my father was autistic, but no one ever diagnosed it (just like no one ever diagnosed his dyslexia). I don't have anything to ask, but good for you for putting it out there: let's get more people talking about it and let's normalize this.
What is the thing you wish people knew before interacting with you? What behavior or action would you take when interacting with another autistic person if you knew in advance?
I’ve never been diagnosed. In fact, I’m an empathic mental health therapist. I never understood the diagnosis. Now that I’m turning 70 and retired it has become clear that my fears and my differences make sense. Of course I never understood the diagnosis . . . for me it is simply normal. As I’ve looked back over my life there are finally things I understand, yet I’m still at a loss as to how to put the pieces of my puzzle together.
Did you 'know' before you 'knew'? As in did you suspect you may be, or seriously self-diagnose (or get told by someone close) prior to actual diagnosis?
Just curious - as I was formally diagnosed with ADHD (and a few comorbidities due to a lifetime of masking it) two months ago, and having an actual label has really made me take stock, despite having an inkling before.
Do you think that adult diagnosis brings a sense of relief and a different perspective to being diagnosed as a child? Because for me autism is nothing more than a burden in my life, which I thought nerfed my social skills but actually does so much more damage than that.
Besides Facebook recommendations, what made you realise? I’ve wondered for a while if I might have ADD or something similar, but never managed to get round to looking into it (which may be further evidence of the problem…).
How do those two interact anyway? To an untrained outsider, they sound like opposites - autism making people hyper-focus on certain things, ADD damaging the ability to focus and concentrate…
Congratulations! I learned that I'm autistic last year and it was one of the most revelatory events of my life. I looked back and recontextualized so much of how I've acted, how I've reacted, how people have responded to me, how I work best, and more. My new self-knowledge is such a relief and I hope it's the same for you. It informs how I make choices and how I give myself the best chance of success in a world that still isn't set up to accommodate neurodiverse people. Warm thoughts to you!
just wanted to thank you for doing this. it’s a service. autism runs in my family and i’ve also been in relationships with spectrum folks. there is so much i wish i’d known, the conversations were never had, and the diagnoses never discovered in some cases. everything seems so clear in hindsight that it’s heartbreaking. open-heart things like this will help a lot of people. thank you. ♥️♥️
Long time listener, first time caller, just wanted to say what a beautiful, simple and inspiring post that was.
Thank you,.
Hi, Laurie.
I can identify with this, a great deal.
There has been something going on for decades, when I have unknowingly tortured myself in jobs and places, I didn't belong.
Asperger's or something was how it was described.
There was a lot of head nodding, when a friend heard me describe my three days and nights, at the computer.
History dissertation, an academic had published something that just didn't feel correct.
I can do massive attention to detail, and regard it as spiritual quest.
Not formally diagnosed, it just all makes sense.
Best wishes,
Rob.
No real question here. Just want to assure you that all people who love you as a person and your writings will still do - any diagnosis doesn't change who you are, right? Don't care about the rest of the people.
But of course it changed your own view onto yourself. Maybe a bit like when you love a painting for decades and think you know it by heart - and then somebody points at some detail here and some colors there and everything makes even more sense. It is the same picture, though - the painting you love. But your perception changed. Sometimes this may happen with a piece of music, or some book - or afilm. Or a person. Or yourself. Still the same.
Love,
Daniel
Me, too. And I didn’t figure it out until I was in my 50s.
Really appreciate you sharing this. I'm starting to be pretty certain of ADHD for myself, and have some testing scheduled soon. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD last year and also suspects he might be autistic as well. What you've said in the other comments about having a frame for understanding yourself (paraphrasing) and feeling empowered to share it really resonates. Thank you
I live in the Bay Area and work in high tech so this post puts me in mind of Temple Grandin's observation about my industry in my neighborhood https://www.mercurynews.com/2014/01/21/temple-grandin-half-of-silicon-valleys-got-mild-autism I suspect if we got better at diagnosing autism, it would be recognized as so much more common than people think, and therefore have so much less stigma and shame. I'm pretty sure my father was autistic, but no one ever diagnosed it (just like no one ever diagnosed his dyslexia). I don't have anything to ask, but good for you for putting it out there: let's get more people talking about it and let's normalize this.
How do you think its affected partnerships? Close relationships, people who you don't mask for?
What is the thing you wish people knew before interacting with you? What behavior or action would you take when interacting with another autistic person if you knew in advance?
So, what's your favourite dinosaur?
I’ve never been diagnosed. In fact, I’m an empathic mental health therapist. I never understood the diagnosis. Now that I’m turning 70 and retired it has become clear that my fears and my differences make sense. Of course I never understood the diagnosis . . . for me it is simply normal. As I’ve looked back over my life there are finally things I understand, yet I’m still at a loss as to how to put the pieces of my puzzle together.
Thank you for this.
Did you 'know' before you 'knew'? As in did you suspect you may be, or seriously self-diagnose (or get told by someone close) prior to actual diagnosis?
Just curious - as I was formally diagnosed with ADHD (and a few comorbidities due to a lifetime of masking it) two months ago, and having an actual label has really made me take stock, despite having an inkling before.
Do you think that adult diagnosis brings a sense of relief and a different perspective to being diagnosed as a child? Because for me autism is nothing more than a burden in my life, which I thought nerfed my social skills but actually does so much more damage than that.
How will this diagnosis change your life, do you think?
Besides Facebook recommendations, what made you realise? I’ve wondered for a while if I might have ADD or something similar, but never managed to get round to looking into it (which may be further evidence of the problem…).
How do those two interact anyway? To an untrained outsider, they sound like opposites - autism making people hyper-focus on certain things, ADD damaging the ability to focus and concentrate…