How are you all, on this especially scary Thursday? I’ve been under the weather, and I’m not really supposed to be posting, but, well, these are extraordinary times.
Still.
Again.
I don’t know about you, but I’m extremely tired of extraordinary times. Tell me, tell the rest of us in the comments: how are you doing?
While you think about that, clear your decks for some CONTENT on here. I’ve spent the past six weeks struggling to keep my head above water, pulling fourteen-hour days most days, dealing with some unfortunate but entirely unworrying health faff- and somehow, surprisingly, managing to meet almost all the obligations I took on back when I hadn’t expected to have to take on any other, surprise obligations. Obligations like the writer’s room I’ve been in, which has been brilliant fun, and which has been every night since November.
Whenever I come up for air I’ve been anxiously apologising to everyone for delivering less than a hundred percent of the most at all times. Yep, I’m going to cut that nonsense out. I own the choice I made to take all of this on. I own the choice to set myself a schedule that relied on there being no Unforeseen Circumstances. I should know by now that that’s wafting a bit of delicious dramatic irony under the nose of fate.
But now that that furious work sprint is almost over, I’ve realised- I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself, given the circumstances.
Three weeks ago, in the middle of a firestorm of in-retrospect-foreseeable-but-still-pretty-shocking U.K. press bullying over the book release, when my body surprised me by simply said no- even then, I didn’t miss a day of work. I met almost all of my hilarious deadlines, and managed to carry on talking to friends and keeping myself fed and putting my trousers on the right way round. That is a solid set of accomplishments.
I think I might try being a bit pleased with myself, for once.
Unfortunately, racking up accomplishments has so far failed to deliver me or anyone else to a future without war or loss or uncertainty. I’m starting to suspect that even if I really optimise my schedule and drink two litres of water a day and do extreme violence to a list of specific and manageable goals, there might still be suffering in the world.
What I’m saying is: I don’t know about you, but I’m strongly considering the merits of a brief nap.
Sometimes, in this rolling time of crisis, having emotions and a body that keeps needing things feels like being a soldier: grab any chance you can for sleep or small comforts, because you never know when you’ll get that chance next. I think most of all I hope there’s never a time for any of us when it’s too late for small comforts.
So-how are you, right now? What have you done with your today apart from stare into the teeth of a helpless doomfuture? What have your small comforts been?
If you’re reading this- in case it matters -you’re one of mine.
More anon x
Thread: how are you doing?
Well, I'm also facing a late winter blizzard tonight. So I will be focusing on the practical. Snow shoveling, bringing firewood inside for the wood stove, the making of soup. I'm avoiding social media; instead listening to favorite podcasts and, once the storm prep is done, reading books.
Be well, Laurie.
Thank you for this! Much needed today. I am doing very well career-wise, but finding it very weird to celebrate my success while the world feels like it's falling apart. But perhaps the best times to try to find joy are when everything else feels off kilter. I'm trying here.....and glad you are too. And it's always such a comfort to know none of us are ever alone. Thank you for that too. Write on.