Great piece.

Particularly about us 'not wanting to look daft in front of the French'. It's painfully true. We'd usually rather come last with a boring act (yet retain our precious dignity), than embrace the spirit of Eurovision with something over-the-top and ridiculous. Or worse, something heartfelt...

Anyway, bring on this year's 'degenerate spectacle of homosexuality'!

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OK, so now I'm trapped in an endless stream of Eurovision videos. Who do I blame?

Thank you for all of this. I needed the good laugh.

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You absolutely DO need to watch past the first ten seconds if you want to see the most magnificent example of "dude in white suit cuts loose on the sax" since the mid-1980s.

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