I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I recently saw someone local tweet about how people “didn’t feel safe” due to unhoused people in a community. And it really struck me how safety is predominately used by people who are already the safest - those who have the most, as a bludgeon to further marginalize those whose lives are truly less safe.
This trend is particularly clear with cis woman transphobes bleating about how sharing spaces with women who are much more vulnerable and marginalized than them makes them feel “unsafe.”
This feeling of unsafety from the rich and privileged can never be addressed because it is lodged in stereotypes and phobias - not based in any kind of reality.
What truly makes us unsafe? Cars. Cars are dangerous! They are what is most likely to kill any of us randomly, regardless of our underlying health. Climate change threatens our whole society. Income inequality is leaving people without the basic resources they need to be unsafe.
And yet, when we hear about safety it’s almost invariably people scared of trans people or poor people or other folks who have been marginalized. Funny that.
Increasingly it means reading your writing, Laurie, and being grateful that there are those like you who are willing to fight the good fight and stand up to the brutal abuse of GCs.
As for what safety means to me, it doesn’t exist really. I was a foster kid, I am trans, and disabled, been homeless twice, have no degree etc.
Right now I make a good wage but it is precarious work (that I spent more than a decade working to get) and I am not certain what I will do when it is done. And that’s not even factoring in climate change etc.
I feel anxious about it all, but I just try to live in the moment and enjoy what I have right now.
For me, safety is a hug in a comfy bed with cozy sheets and blankets. That’s the only safety I can rely on. And even that, only in the moment.
In general, guess mostly it means being around people I trust, and having no reason to feel afraid.
For me, it has a more particular meaning as well. Excuse me if TMI, but: I have a kinky side, and let's just say, I enjoy dressing in a way that I would *not* make feel safe walking around in public in. Fetish clubs and queer/kink spaces feel safe and accepting to me in a way that nowhere else does, and I treasure them for that reason.
Physical safety comes when risk of injury is reduced to ‘unlikely’ and all your basic needs are met (food, shelter etc) Psychological peace comes when you accept that there’s no such thing as absolute psychological safety. Accepting this resources you well enough to be safe in the knowledge of your own human limitations and the limitations of those around you. Harm comes to ourselves and others when we try to make fantasy of absolute safety become real. It’s not possible
To me everyone needs safety. We all only get it to a certain degree, and some have less or next to none. Still I need the safety to sleep without fear, the knowledge there will be food the next day, a stable home for my family.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I recently saw someone local tweet about how people “didn’t feel safe” due to unhoused people in a community. And it really struck me how safety is predominately used by people who are already the safest - those who have the most, as a bludgeon to further marginalize those whose lives are truly less safe.
This trend is particularly clear with cis woman transphobes bleating about how sharing spaces with women who are much more vulnerable and marginalized than them makes them feel “unsafe.”
This feeling of unsafety from the rich and privileged can never be addressed because it is lodged in stereotypes and phobias - not based in any kind of reality.
What truly makes us unsafe? Cars. Cars are dangerous! They are what is most likely to kill any of us randomly, regardless of our underlying health. Climate change threatens our whole society. Income inequality is leaving people without the basic resources they need to be unsafe.
And yet, when we hear about safety it’s almost invariably people scared of trans people or poor people or other folks who have been marginalized. Funny that.
Thank you so much for this comment. Have you read the book ‘Drift’?
No, the one by Rachel Maddow? Or another one?
(Should read: “Income inequality is leaving people without the basic resources they need to be safe”)
Safety is where you don't have to use energy on survival or vigilance, and can instead use that focus on growth.
Your description of the retreat makes me think of Mary Shelley writing Frankenstein...
Increasingly it means reading your writing, Laurie, and being grateful that there are those like you who are willing to fight the good fight and stand up to the brutal abuse of GCs.
As for what safety means to me, it doesn’t exist really. I was a foster kid, I am trans, and disabled, been homeless twice, have no degree etc.
Right now I make a good wage but it is precarious work (that I spent more than a decade working to get) and I am not certain what I will do when it is done. And that’s not even factoring in climate change etc.
I feel anxious about it all, but I just try to live in the moment and enjoy what I have right now.
For me, safety is a hug in a comfy bed with cozy sheets and blankets. That’s the only safety I can rely on. And even that, only in the moment.
In general, guess mostly it means being around people I trust, and having no reason to feel afraid.
For me, it has a more particular meaning as well. Excuse me if TMI, but: I have a kinky side, and let's just say, I enjoy dressing in a way that I would *not* make feel safe walking around in public in. Fetish clubs and queer/kink spaces feel safe and accepting to me in a way that nowhere else does, and I treasure them for that reason.
That should read, 'that I would *not* feel safe walking around in public in'. Discord needs an edit button...
Safety is either understanding the problem and being able to avoid it because of that, or being with friends who probably wouldn't hurt me.
Oh, and another thin. I can be sarcastic and nobody will decide it's consent.
Interesting! Say more?
Oh, just stab me in the heart why don't you.
Physical safety comes when risk of injury is reduced to ‘unlikely’ and all your basic needs are met (food, shelter etc) Psychological peace comes when you accept that there’s no such thing as absolute psychological safety. Accepting this resources you well enough to be safe in the knowledge of your own human limitations and the limitations of those around you. Harm comes to ourselves and others when we try to make fantasy of absolute safety become real. It’s not possible
To me everyone needs safety. We all only get it to a certain degree, and some have less or next to none. Still I need the safety to sleep without fear, the knowledge there will be food the next day, a stable home for my family.